a beautiful whisper

I stepped quickly out of my flip flops and added them beside the pile of other shoes outside the door to the simple brick house.  I had already greeted the elderly lady outside, which is the Zambian custom, but I was anxious to get inside to see my friend, Beatrice.  I prayed quickly, once more that the Lord would give me strength to not cry and to give me words to encourage.  I followed a younger woman inside.

We had received word that one of the woman leaders in the local church in our town was very sick.  She had fought sickness off and on for years, but it seemed this time was different from what people were saying.  I needed to go visit her before it was too late.

My heartbeat quickened as I walked barefoot down the unlit hallway to Beatrice's bedroom as I followed the woman.  My heart actually sunk a little because this meant she was too weak to come see me in the living room.  As her grown daughter pulled the curtain to the side, I felt the Lord gird me up because my heart felt like crumbling.  My sweet friend...my vibrant friend who was so quick to laugh and lead singing and dancing, was so weak she needed help to sit up.  Even in Zambia, the Baptist churches have women who tend to be willing to take the lead and help do the cooking for meals and to do the work.  She was one of those.  She helped the younger ones.  She was so strong! She was a widow at a young age.  The life expectancy is so low in Zambia and so it seems as if their life experience is compacted.  My age mates in their forties seem like they are in their sixties. She was a grandmother and a mother of a preschooler and grown children as a forty-two year old.  Because of this, I was overwhelmed internally by surprise at her weakened state.  She was not the vibrant, strong African woman I knew....she looked like so many I had seen on commercials for very sick and needy people in Africa.  My heart broke.

But we had a nice time of fellowship.  I just chatted for a little while, but then I read some of Hebrews 11 and Thessalonians to her. I also reminded her that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)  I prayed with her.  God gave us such a sweet gift of time, and me a lesson to remember.

Beatrice was so weak that I could barely hear her voice, but she was still using her voice to praise the Lord!  She said, "God is good all the time, and all the time God is good". She could not sit on her own.  She was living in a third world nation in a rural town and you can imagine the amenities and comforts she was living without.  She told me her time had come so I believe she knew she was dying.  She knew she was leaving a little orphan girl. Beatrice had suffered other things through her life...really hard things that it is difficult for me as an American woman to grasp, yet she remained faithful to God through all those years...even to the end.

When I think of Beatrice, I think of her praising the Lord in a bright African dress dancing and singing at the top of her beautiful voice.  I also think of her in a dark blue shirt in a dull room void of light but praising Him with a whisper.  She was beautiful.  She is with Him now worshiping Him completely.

My friend Beatrice finished her life well. 

 Even though it is the beginning of a new year, I am thinking of the ending too. It may seem odd, but I think it is so important and it is so heavy on my heart right now.  Last year, I lost Beatrice.  I also lost a dear friend and mentor named Kathy as well as my Grandmother who was one of my closest friends.  All three of these women loved the Lord.  I want to have a faith and a faithfulness that their lives exemplified. 

Our family is in a season of change. Big change.  We are leaving Lundazi for medical reasons, our home...ministry...friends, and we do not know where we are going...

David and I have often talked throughout our marriage how important it is to finish strong, to finish well. While we didn't expect this to be our time to finish this season here, we truly want to finish well.  We are in a season of goodbyes so perhaps that is why I am thinking this way.

I love new beginnings and I have really looked forward to the beginning of 2017.  Last year was quite a challenging year.  As this year begins, I am already thinking about December in a way.  I don't really want to make New Year's Resolutions, but I do want to pray through "what do I need to be doing to finish 2017 well?"  If my heart's cry is that I want to really see the Lord and know Him more in an Isaiah 6:1 kind of way, what do my priorities need to be?  How can MY life be one that is one of worship...even if the only worship I have left is a beautiful whisper?

grace and joy,
heather